Month: February 2016
By Angel Simmons
I had to ask for help FIVE times today. Now, if you really know me, then I know that your eyes just got really big… because asking for help is NOT what I do. I figure it out. I make every sacrifice. I stretch myself. I do whatever it takes to keep from being disappointed when people don’t come through for me. I understand fully that this is only a defense mechanism I use to protect myself. Unfortunately, my “independence” was born from necessity.
I respect loyalty. I go out of my way to be a blessing. My compassion meter runs through the roof. I can never quite comprehend the hearts and minds of people who don’t live the love that I do. Out of the five people I asked for help, three proved to be reliable. The other two brushed me off without a word. Will I hold a grudge? Absolutely not. Will that deter me from asking anyone for help again? Well…..
I told someone tonight that I wondered if God sometimes allows me to go through struggles, 1) To humble me enough to HAVE to reach out for help, and 2) To show me who is truly FOR and WITH me. God knows my difficulties in trusting people. He knows how big my heart is and how hard I love. And He’s well aware of how TIGHT I keep my circle. My life and future are no surprise to Him. Could it be that He’s just watching to see how I’ll respond… if I’ll still find a way to “walk in love” when others blatantly choose not to?
I end this night truly grateful for those that came through for me. My hope is renewed in both the kindness of strangers and the sacrifice of friendship. Three people gave me their most precious gift: THEIR TIME. Above everything else that I needed today, they took the time to both listen and respond. I am BLESSED beyond measure for the circle that supports me. Their genuine concern for me overshadows my disappointment. And because of them, perhaps… just maybe… it’s possible… the next time I need help, I won’t lose QUITE as much hair beating myself up before I finally pick up the phone and say what I need.
February 27, 2016