Month: April 2014

“Marriage Secrets: Tales From the 2014 Black Women’s Expo”

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By Angel Simmons ©

Last month I was honored with the opportunity to work during the 2014 Black Women’s Expo at the Anointed Wives Ministry (AWM) table. As a “wife in waiting”, I was excited to share with customers how much the organization has poured into me as I prepare myself for that coming chapter in my life. By hour number three, I was grinning ear to ear, waiting to spot curious onlookers so I could tell them how AWM can be a blessing to their marriage. Every visitor was asked if they were married or planning to be one day, as well as how long they have been married or dating. For the married women and couples, I asked them their secrets to making marriage work. The following list is comprised of some of the best tips I received:

-Patience
-Communication
-Prayer (and LOTS of it!)
-Move together (in plans and decisions)
-Serve one another (when one does it, it makes it easier for the other person to do it)
-Put (and KEEP) God first
-Compromise (meeting in the middle)
-Marry your best friend
-Do whatever the wife says! (“Happy wife, happy life”)
-Never go to bed angry or without kissing
-Never leave the house in the morning without touching and praying (even if one is sleep!)
-Decide together that neither one of you are leaving
-Let things go/Don’t hold grudges
-Be friends FIRST (before the romance)
-Extend forgiveness… regularly
-Determine in the FIRST year what you will and will not accept or allow (or else you’ll be stuck with it)
-Never start doing something that you can’t keep up doing
-Marry someone who loves the Lord
-Stroke your husband’s ego OFTEN!
-Find YOUR rhythm and what works for YOU as a couple
-Weekly/Monthly date nights/time together away from the children and other family
-Figure out how to get along (you’ll be empty nesters one day)

Angel rocks her "Future Anointed Wife" shirt with AWM Founder, Felicia Houston and other anointed wives during the Expo
Angel rocks her “Future Anointed Wife” shirt with AWM Founder, Felicia Houston and other anointed wives during the Expo

Of all the hundreds of women and couples who stopped (and a few men who literally pushed their wives over to the table to check out the “I Love My Husband” shirts), only one of them listed love (as the main ingredient). One mentioned sex (to keep it hot), and one really stressed the importance of only inviting friends and family that have your best interest as a couple at heart into your marital issues. I met one woman who was divorced (and still mourning the loss of her marriage) who told me the hardest thing about being married was faithfulness- not just sexually, but with your time (married, but living separate lives as single people). One widow told me she was still optimistic about remarrying, while another said “that ship sailed when he died”. I spoke to a woman who was married for the 2nd time around who kept shaking her head saying “This is the LAST time!” I was knocked off guard when one woman told me she had been dating a guy for 16 years, but wasn’t married because “If it ain’t broke- don’t fix it”. Later (after my probing) she said they had just joined a church and were both “seriously discussing marriage”. And I laughed hysterically with about 10 different brides-to-be and their bridesmaids about their wedding planning nightmares.

Constantly keeping that table looking good was hard work!
Constantly keeping that table looking good was hard work!

However, at the end of the day, my highlight was talking with women (of all ages and nationalities) who were looking forward to settling down with the love of their life. It was SO refreshing! Despite the statistics, their bad dating experiences and the horror stories that single women are continuously fed by the “married & miserable”, they were still eager to share their lives with someone- not merely to experience a fabulous wedding. This group was glad to hear that there was a ministry willing to “adopt” them and show them REAL examples of REAL marriages that are truly thriving and happy. And as I stood there glowing, proudly sporting my “Future Anointed Wife” shirt, I felt one step closer to reaching my destiny for having sowed my seeds into good and fertile ground.

April 14, 2014

Angel Simmons
Spoken Word Artist, Model, and Author of the forthcoming book Love’s Great Design
angel.simmons@att.net
Hear more from Angel on Facebook, Linked In, SoundCloud (“Angel’s Words”), or WordPress (“Love’s Great Design”)

For more information about the Anointed Wives Ministry (AMW), visit them on Facebook or on the web at: http://www.anointedwivesministry.com

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